FemPorn Merch
Wear your porn habits proudly.
Oils, shirts, and a coffee-table book with more dicks in it than most museums. All of it made to be seen — which is more than we can say for the browsing history.
Why the hell does FemPorn have a shop
Because porn isn’t the only thing worth coming for.
We put lust on your chest, attitude on your coffee table, and a raised eyebrow on your forehead. Every item is built to start a conversation, a smile, or — best case — an argument at a dinner party.
Merch with a mission: a standing reminder that SHE comes first. In bed, in print, or embroidered on a cap.
Consider it foreplay for your wardrobe.
Named with the reverence it deserves. Used with considerably less.
39,00 €
Two minutes a day, entirely for your own benefit. We're not going to pretend otherwise.
39,00 €
Clinical name, filthy shelf. It does exactly what it says and nothing it doesn't.
39,00 €
A coffee-table book. Leave it out. Watch what happens.
45,00 €
The house creed, in cotton. Reads well in a work meeting.
40,00 €
not for sale
The one thing here you can't wrap.
Audio erotica, pleasure flows and stories. In the app, in your ears, no postage and nothing to dust.
critically acclaimed, allegedly
All the Dicks in the World
Hardcover. 200 pages. Exactly as advertised.
“The definitive guide to pricks in print.”
The Whisper Times
“More Dicks than Dickens, and twice as entertaining.”
The Daily Moan
“A coffee-table book that starts conversations you will regret having.”
The Sunday Ache
None of these publications exist. The book does.
for everyone leaving empty-handed
Bought nothing? That was always the deal.
Most people who come here leave without spending anything, and the site is built that way on purpose — free to watch, no ads, no account, no trail. Keeping it that way costs rather more than a cap and three bottles of oil bring in.
So if you'd rather chip in than shop, that's the door on the left.